I Am So Happy that I was FAT!

As I was watching the first two episodes of The Biggest Loser yesterday with my husband, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I am so happy that I was fat."  To most people this probably sounds like a really weird statement, but let me explain.

As these contestants were describing how they had arrived at their current weight, many of them kept saying, "I used to be an athlete, and I don't know how I let myself go."  Well, I was never an athlete.  I couldn't run one mile in under 9 minutes, I didn't know how to hit a ball, I wasn't active for the fun of it, I felt uncomfortable in the locker room, and I was uncoordinated.  From the time I was a child I was overweight, I was always uncomfortable in my own skin, I could never really find clothes that fit, I had no concept of portion control, and I used food to comfort myself.  This is where I come from, and this is what I know.

I feel for the children of my generation, and of this current generation who deal with childhood obesity.  I know too well the feelings of insecurity and self-doubt that accompany that excess weight.  However, from where I stand now, having found Clean Eating, and Beachbody, I realize that in a lot of ways, I'm lucky for where I started.  I will never look back at my teen years and think to myself, "I was in the best shape of my life", or  "I wish I could get back to the same size I was in when I was in high school or college."  Those are not my glory days.  This is not when I felt like I was at my smallest, most fit, most active.  Every ounces of muscle that I have gained, and every inch of fat that I have lost, has been leading me toward a version of myself that I have dreamed of becoming for decades.  Instead of looking backward, and dreaming of being somewhere I was in the past, I look forward toward the person that I have always dreamed of becoming, and up until now, had thought I was incapable of being.

I don't envy those people who are constantly looking back at pictures from high school, or pre-baby, or pre-surgery, or pre-whatever-it-was-that-made-me-overweight.  They are so often looking behind them, instead of looking ahead.  Who wants to go backwards?  Who wants to move in reverse?  I say to those of you who fall into this category (and there are more of you out there than would like to admit), stop reliving your 'glory days' and start creating glorious days.  Look forward toward who you are able to become if you just make up your mind, commit to a change, and work toward succeeding.  I'm not saying that it's easy.  I worked out six days a week, followed a provided nutrition plan, prepped all my meals, used all my will-power to avoid eating the horrible food that surrounded me, sacrificed hours to my workouts, and struggled every single day until one day it happened.  I did my first push-up on my toes, I fit into my first size 6 jeans, I did my first unassisted pull-up, and above all that, I woke up happy.  I progressed, day by day, week by week, month by month. MOVE. MOVE FORWARD. MOVE BEYOND YOUR PAST.

I can provide you with everything you need to just move forward.  Diet, exercise, personal development.  It's not free, but believe me, it's cheaper than the unhealthy lifestyle you are leading right now.  So you were blessed with amazing genes in your youth, and you were active enough to keep yourself in great shape.  But we're not 18 anymore, and most people aren't that active.  Build new habits, healthy habits, and stop looking back at the old you.  That picture from high school that sits on your mantel is not who you are anymore.  Let's place an empty frame there, and in three, six, nine months, let's put a new picture of the new you.  The you that you are capable of becoming if you just decide to make the change, and commit to a new way of life.  You're totally worth it, and totally capable of it, you just have to DECIDE!

I love you guys!  Keep moving, keep strong, and PUSH PLAY EVERY DAY!

Maria